Live each day like it really Matters

Saturday, January 31, 2015

I have a new found understanding of my Mom this month. It is something that happens from time to time being a mother myself but this moment came to me because I am in her shoes a lot more lately. My Mom was a working mother. A lot of responsibilities were left to us kids growing up and those things have paid off for me in the long run since I can cook and clean and take care of my own family.
Going back to work this year has had its challenges and sometime my own kids feel the lack as I have less time to attend to them. Little things that go undone that use to be a daily routine for me are no longer a priority as my time is stretched a lot thinner.
But as January came around which is the start of Birthday season at my house, Dallin being first up, he didn't get any type of real celebration like I normally do. Not even a cake. I did do a brownie that didn't turn out and ended up in the trash. But no party or night out or anything from me.
Now Madison has her birthday in a couple weeks and already I am trying to find a way out of the party she wants. She has big plans which is my own fault because every year we have done some sort of art party and she wants one again, just bigger and better. Me I want quiet, and someway to keep my house clean, since that is a hard won task these days.
But how does this connect with my own Mom. Well I don't remember once having a birthday party, in fact the first real Party I remember was on my 40th when my amazing husband through a party on my behalf. I don't remember getting cakes or gifts either as my birthday is in December it always was combined with Christmas. But I get it now. She was a working mom, and when she got home she was tired, cause I'm tired when I get home and she worked and still works way harder than I am.
So how do I find the balance. Where do I allocate my time so that I don't neglect those I love most and still am able to help financially in my home? These are tough questions and ones I don't have the answer for. At least not yet. 
So I will  make it up to Dallin somehow and I will get an art Party planned for Madison. And I will reach out more than I use to for help. I will not let 6 hours away from home ruin the home that I have built. 

Cause these 4 are the reasons I'm a mom. Why I am working where I am am working and I love them too much to let them down.  
I in no way want to degrade my own upbringing, I have a great mother, and she did what she did the best she knew how. I know that! Isn't that what we all do. I love her for all that she has taught me. I have learned all about being a mom from her. I still look to her and rely on her help and advice. I love all our time together and especially look forward to spending copious amounts of my summer holidays camping and playing with her as we have since I was a kid. 

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